Sitting In The dark

Sitting In The Dark

Her I am

Sitting in the dark

Thinking about a couple of seconds

Thirty years ago

It's only seconds

What a couple of seconds it is

The lowest of lows

If I only could know

They say i'm forgiven

They say I paid the price

If that is the case

Why doesn't it feel right

I found the light

I switched it on

I went under the water

I sang a new song

I helped a man

I helped a woman

I raised my boys

I showed them a line

Then why do I

Still feel out of sort

A couple of seconds

I can't even the score

Why do you haunt me

Life falls on me

So here I am

Sitting in the dark

This is about my father.  He made a terrible mistake once that haunted him the rest of his life.  I see all the negativity and judgment in today's world.  It makes me think of him.  How the courts made him pay a price and Jesus forgave him, but he never could forgive himself.  

Cost

Cost

There is a cost each time we go.  

Some cost we will never know.  

How do we see the price?  

Is it the blood soaked wood.  

Is it the nails.  

Is it the tears shed by a mother or the hug of a brother.  

Is it the bravery of a soldier or the fear of a follower.  

Does it really matter if the price is already payed?  

Can we ever truly Find our way?

Crossing

Crossing

Crossing the street

I see the other side

Why can't I find

Whats on my mind

It was there as it was before

But I can't find the door

Crossing the universe

You are my way.

Sometimes people leave this world and you don't miss a beat. Other times a death of someone you barely know can knock your world off track.  My best friend from when I was a kid died.   His name was Rick Miller.  Our lives were nothing alike, but we shared a bond, that I had forgotten existed.  He was there during a time that shaped who I am today and while those were not the most important events in the world, they mattered to us both.

What???

What

Jesus in the garden. 

I got to thinking what I would do if God called me to give up my life? 
Jesus knew what was coming and asked that the burden pass, but then accepted his role. 
Could I, could you? 
Is this life even mine to give?  
One day I will know, but can I accept that?

Dust on his feet
Nails in his wrist
Blood on the cross
Running down into the ground
Life

Standing

Standing

We stand there

lost in thought

waiting for the end

knowing not

finding a place

scared of the day

the end should come

not today

A Drop

A Drop

A drop of water

running down the hill

finding a place

to be still

holding your hand

knowing the end

what is the point

we bend in the end

crossing the street

knowing your name

calling my friends

going the wrong way

When?

When

When was the last time?

You know that time.

The one I saw.

You saw.

I can't remember.

Was it really that long ago?

Could I really forget?

Maybe if I try.

Can I find it again?

First Time

First Time

There is a first time for everything

Eating

Caring

Loving

Knowing

Sowing

Flowing

Going

Falling

Blogging

Dieing

Come to think of it, there a last time too.

The wind blowing through the pine trees

The Wind Blowing Through the Pine Trees

I hear the crunching of leaves
I hear the bark of a dog

I hear the call of a Whip-Poor-Will

I feel the touch of fall

The wind blows through the pines

High above our path

Three generations 

walking forward

Not looking back

Guns in our hands

Conversation on our hearts

Walking the same path

Ahead I see Grandpa

Old and wise

Working his dogs

Looking for the prize

Time in the woods

Searching for squirrels

Searching for a connection

Dad following him

Strong and young

Following his father

I am the son

How far will we go

What can we see

What has been done

Grandpa leaves the path

To look in a tree

He walks in a circle

Then looks at me

Do you see it up on the branch?

I say I do, it's a lie

The wind blows through the pines

Dad keeps walking down the path

I no longer see Grandpa

Dad says it's just you and me.

We talk and laugh

He kids and grabs me

Then he hugs me and a kiss

He looks me in the eyes

Saying, "God leads you"

Suddenly dad changes directing

Walking away from me.

He turns and smiles

Then walks behind a tree

The wind blows hard

I wait for his return

I then realize

I must walk down this trail alone

I go past a creek

an old willow tree

Through an oak bottom

up a hill so I can see

At the top of the hill

My wife joins me

We walk through the woods

Together and free

As we walk down the path

Side by side

I see my daughter join

walking behind

Then my two boys

Growing and walking

 As we continue down the trail

We sing and have fun

We joke and we kid

We deal with what's done

The path leads us through a bog

 Around a rivers bend

Down a creek

Away from the trees

We cross a big field

In the bright Texas sun

Then I hear it calling

I become numb

I realize in that moment

Some day it will happen

I will be called back into the trees

Leaving the path

I know the sound

I know what it means

The wind blowing through the pine trees